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And that’s good. It means you care. I’m leaving tomorrow and I’ll probably never see you again. I want to do it before I leave.”“Why me?”“Because you’re caring and kind, and I know you’ll be gentle and patient. That day at your house, I just wanted to be held in your arms and feel you against me. But then in McKinley, when I saw you? Then I had all these thoughts...”She took a deep breath and sighed.“ ... thoughts about what we could do together. Imagining what it would be like, but having no idea. I wanted it so badly I couldn’t stand it. So when I was changing and had my clothes off, I called your name. I hoped you would see me and want the same thing. If not then, later. But you told me you didn’t see me,” she said, sounding sad.“I’m sorry. It was a very stressful situation.”“Do you wish you had seen me?” she asked quietly.I nodded, “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I should. Or we should.”“I’m not crazy,” Becky said softly. “I have struggles, but so do you.”“I know,” I said. “But it’s. I'm afraid to the casual observer, the three of us seated in the coffee shop from a distance looked just like three girls talking and giggling as they are wont to do.Upon receipt of my third paycheck after five weeks, all three of us hit the mall. Well, I hardly know where to begin. I was so used to being around girls and feminine boys, including Albert. It was almost like I was in a post hypnotic trance and just being with them put me in a decidedly girlish mood. I couldn't get over myself. They suggested, and whatever it was, I tried it on or did it and it was fun. I'd never had so much fun shopping.Most of our time was spent in decidedly ladies specialty shops where the first thing I found out was that a women's size 10 slack fit me much better than anything I could find in men's and then they got me into some blouses and blazers suitable for work where the feminine cut and buttoning wouldn't be so noticeable, or so I convinced myself. The blazers accentuated my slender.
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